My Man, My Man, My Man?
My Man, My Man, My Man? How Human Design Authority Helps You Stop Outsourcing Your Knowing
"You knew long before it fell apart. Your body told you. You just weren’t taught to trust it."
Let’s go ahead and tell the truth.
Most of us knew.
Long before the chaos.
Long before the betrayal.
Long before the last chance we gave him.
We knew.
But knowing is one thing. Trusting it is another.
And when you have been raised in a culture that teaches you to override your body’s truth?
That knowing will sit in your chest like a stone while you smile and perform.
The cost of silence
I work with high-achieving women every day. And one of the deepest wounds I see is this: they are brilliant, capable, wise as hell — and yet when it comes to relationships, they stop trusting their own voice.
Because too many of us were taught that when it comes to men, marriage, church, family, or reputation, our own knowing was not enough.
We were told:
Pray about it.
Wait on a sign.
Be patient.
Be the bigger person.
And we did.
We prayed. We waited. We stayed.
But all the while, our bodies were speaking.
That gut twist.
That tight chest.
That random burst of tears.
That moment of panic when the phone rang.
The body always speaks first.
How conditioning disconnects us from our Authority
Here is where Human Design changed the game for me.
Because Authority in Human Design is not about logic. It is not about what makes sense on paper. It is about how truth moves through your body.
And cultural conditioning taught us to shut that down.
How many times were you told:
"That is just your imagination."
"You are too sensitive."
"You need to pray on it."
"Marriage is hard, you just need to work through it."
So you learned to override your knowing.
You learned to ask everyone but yourself.
You learned to perform peace while your body screamed.
How Authority speaks through the body
Let’s break this down.
If you are Splenic, your knowing is immediate. It comes as a whisper, a flash. A subtle signal that says "yes" or "no" in the moment.
But how many of us were taught to slow that down, to second-guess it, to ask for confirmation?
By the time you start asking for a sign, you have already overridden the knowing.
If you are Emotional, your clarity comes through your emotional wave. You are not meant to make decisions in the heat of the moment. You need time to feel it all the way through.
But how many of us were told to rush, to make a decision today, to respond to pressure?
When you move before your wave settles, you betray your clarity.
If you are Sacral, your gut speaks through sound and sensation. That deep yes or no is immediate.
But how many of us were told to be nice, to be agreeable, to go along with what makes others comfortable?
That is how you start saying yes when your gut is saying no.
Outsourcing your knowing
What does outsourcing your knowing look like?
It looks like staying in a relationship because "the church says marriage is forever."
It looks like giving him one more chance because "your mama says no man is perfect."
It looks like convincing yourself to stay because "at least he provides."
It looks like sitting in therapy week after week trying to fix something your body already told you to walk away from.
And here is the hardest part.
Sometimes leaving is not even the hardest part.
It is forgiving yourself for knowing and not moving sooner.
Knowing is not always loud. But it is always right.
I hear this all the time:
"But my knowing was not clear."
Yes, it was.
You just were not taught to trust how it came through.
Because knowing is not always a lightning bolt.
It is not always a burning bush.
Sometimes it is the tension in your shoulders that never leaves.
Sometimes it is the sickness you feel every time you have to fake a smile.
Sometimes it is the exhaustion that hits you when you try to convince yourself to stay.
That is your body. That is your Authority. That is your truth.
Human Design helps you rebuild trust
Human Design is not about giving you a new voice. It is about showing you how to listen to the one you already have.
It is about helping you remember that your body has always known what your mind was trained to doubt.
When you start honoring your Authority, you start moving differently.
You stop asking for signs.
You stop outsourcing your knowing.
You stop performing relationships that are costing you your peace.
You do not need permission to trust yourself
If this is sitting in your gut or rising in your chest, your body is already speaking.
You do not need permission to trust yourself.
You do not need your pastor’s blessing.
You do not need your mama’s approval.
You do not need your friends to understand.
You need to listen to the truth that has been waiting for you to honor it.
This is the work inside The House of TAH
Inside The House of TAH, this is the work we do.
We reclaim the voice that was trained out of us.
We stop performing for outside approval.
We rebuild trust in our own decisions.
If this is resonating, start with this week’s podcast [link].
And when you are ready to stop negotiating with your own truth, The House of TAH waitlist is open to you.
