How Your Open Centers in Human Design Keep You Chasing Love That Hurts
Where You Learned To Shrink Yourself For Love
Somewhere along the way, you learned that love had to be earned.
And from there, the shrinking began.
You started overgiving. You started proving. You started bending and contorting yourself in relationships.
And it was not just in romantic ones.
It showed up in family. In friendships. In community. In work spaces.
In every place where your heart longed to belong.
Because for many of us, belonging was tied to performance.
It was never about being fully seen. It was about being useful. Being liked. Being needed.
Being the one who had it together.
And when you are trained to believe that love has to be earned, it is not long before you start abandoning yourself to stay connected.
You start saying yes when your body is screaming no.
You start staying in spaces where your soul is shrinking because you do not want to be seen as difficult or ungrateful.
You start pouring from a cup that is already cracked.
And somewhere in that process, you lose touch with what you actually need. What you actually feel. Who you actually are.
When Belonging Comes At The Cost Of Your Truth
That longing for connection was never the problem.
You were born for connection.
But no one taught you how to honor that longing without betraying yourself in the process.
No one taught you how your open centers in Human Design were leaving you porous to the very conditioning that made you shrink.
When you do not know how to work with your open centers, when you do not know how to recognize what is yours and what is not, you soak in other people’s energy.
You start performing for connection.
You start chasing recognition.
You start bending yourself into shapes that will keep you loved, even if those shapes do not fit anymore.
And that is where the self-betrayal begins.
You wake up one day and realize you do not even know who you are underneath the roles you have been performing.
The Ache You Have Been Carrying Is Trying To Tell You Something
That ache you feel is not weakness.
It is wisdom.
The longing. The resentment. The exhaustion. The invisible grief you carry.
It is all your body speaking to you.
It is saying you were never meant to shrink for love.
It is saying there is more for you than this cycle of overgiving and under-receiving.
It is saying you do not have to keep holding it all to be worthy of belonging.
But until you can name what is actually driving the pattern, you will keep finding yourself back in the same rooms, playing the same roles, wondering why you are so tired.
How Your Open Centers Pull You Into Self-Betrayal
Let’s name it clearly.
Each of your open centers carries a vulnerability.
And when left unrecognized, those vulnerabilities run the show.
You are not moving from your truth. You are moving from survival patterns shaped by unprocessed conditioning.
Open Identity Center
This is the center of love, direction, and identity.
When it is open, you are deeply receptive to the environments and energies around you.
And without awareness, this becomes shape-shifting.
You lose yourself trying to be what each person needs you to be. You overadapt. You abandon your own truth to maintain connection.
You start wearing identities that are not yours just to feel safe.
And the grief of this? It builds silently.
You wake up and realize you do not know what you like. You do not know where you belong. You do not even trust your own direction because you have outsourced it for so long.
Open Heart or Ego Center
This is the center of worth, willpower, and value.
When it is open, you absorb the pressure to prove.
You overcommit. You overpromise. You overwork.
You keep trying to earn love that should never have required proving in the first place.
You chase degrees, promotions, status, external validation.
And no matter how much you achieve, it is never enough. Because the pattern is not about achievement. It is about the wound underneath that says, “I must prove to be worthy.”
Open Emotional Center
This is the center of emotional energy and waves.
When it is open, you absorb other people’s emotions and amplify them.
You carry other people’s feelings. You walk on eggshells to keep the peace.
You stay in relationships long after they stop being safe because you do not want to disrupt the peace.
You silence yourself to avoid triggering others.
And over time, you abandon your own emotional truth.
Your body starts carrying what your voice will not speak.
That tight throat. That heavy chest. That sense of walking on air that never feels grounded.
It is all the unspoken truth living in your body.
Open Sacral Center
This is the center of life force and sustainable energy.
When it is open, you absorb other people’s energy and feel pressure to match it.
You override your exhaustion. You take on more. You say yes when your body is already screaming no.
You push through your body’s boundaries because you do not want to disappoint.
And over time, the body breaks down.
Because the body was never meant to run on borrowed energy.
Why This Is Not Your Weakness
And here is what I need you to hear.
You did not create this pattern because you are weak.
You were taught to betray yourself for belonging.
You were conditioned to chase approval and connection even when it cost you your truth.
And that conditioning lives in the body.
It is not just a mindset. It is not just a habit.
It is a nervous system pattern shaped by years of survival.
And that is why it cannot be shifted through mindset alone.
It must be healed at the level of the body.
Why Human Design Gives You A Way Through
This is where Human Design changes everything.
It gives you language for what you have been living.
It shows you how to rebuild.
It teaches you how to name where conditioning has been running the show.
It helps you reclaim clarity around what is yours and what is not.
It gives you a path to rebuild boundaries rooted in your truth, not in fear.
It shows you how to move through relationships without self-abandonment.
Because when you can see the pattern, you can start choosing differently.
When you can feel the pull of an open center and pause, you can begin to reclaim your own truth.
And over time, your body learns to trust that it does not have to shrink to be safe.
That it does not have to betray itself to be loved.
That it can be in connection without disappearing.
What Was Never The Real Problem
Because it was never love that kept you small.
It was recognition hunger wrapped in unprocessed conditioning.
The hunger to be seen. The hunger to be chosen.
And you do not have to keep carrying that.
It is not yours to hold anymore.
You are allowed to outgrow it.
You are allowed to build relationships that honor who you are now, not who you had to be to survive.
The Path Forward
If this is hitting where it hurts, it is because your body already knows.
You were never meant to shrink for love.
And your Human Design can help you hold your wholeness without apology.
This is not about becoming a perfect version of yourself.
It is about coming home to who you already are.
And when you move from that place, the relationships in your life begin to shift.
The way you hold boundaries changes.
The way you move in spaces changes.
You stop chasing approval and start choosing alignment.
You stop performing and start living.
And that changes everything.
Why The House of TAH Is Where This Work Continues
Inside The House of TAH, we name these patterns and rebuild your truth.
This is where we stop performing for connection.
Where we learn to embody relationships that honor who we truly are.
Where boundaries are built from clarity, not fear.
Where nervous system healing meets Human Design so that you are not just thinking about your design, you are living it.
Because love should not cost you yourself.
And it is time to come home to that truth.
You do not have to heal this alone.
You do not have to figure this out in your head.
This is the work we do inside The House of TAH.
And the next round is coming.
The waitlist is open now.
If you know this is your season to move different, get on the waitlist today.
What To Do Next
Start with this week’s podcast. We are going all the way in on this.
And when you are ready to stop betraying yourself for belonging, The House of TAH is open to you.
