You Built the Dream Life. So Why Do You Feel Like You're Drowning?
Originally shared on The House of Tah podcast
Your life looks perfect on paper.
The degrees are framed. The marriage worked out or you got out when it turned toxic. Your kids don't embarrass you in public. You know how to show up, show out, and handle whatever comes your way.
So why do you feel like you're suffocating behind your own smile?
If you're reading this, there's a good chance you're living what I call a beautiful nightmare, a life that looks like freedom but feels like a cage you built with your own hands.
You're not broken. You're not ungrateful. And no, this isn't depression.
You're just tired of performing your way through a life that was never really yours.
The Pretty Cage You Were Raised to Build
Let's call this what it is: you were trained to abandon yourself...beautifully.
You inherited rules you didn't write, passed down through religion, family silence, and systems that benefit from you being tired and quiet:
"Be agreeable so you're lovable"
"Shrink to keep the peace"
"Rest is laziness"
"If it's not hard, it's not holy"
"A good woman sacrifices. A worthy woman serves"
You think you built this life? No, sis. You followed a blueprint that was handed to you before you could even speak.
And somewhere deep inside, you know there's a version of you that exists underneath all of this performing. A version that didn't learn to say "yes" when her gut was screaming "no." A version that didn't smile in rooms that violated her spirit.
That version of you? She's still there. And she's tired of waiting.
The Belief That's Keeping You Trapped
Here's what's really wrecking you: you believe love has to be earned.
Through labor. Through loyalty. Through silence. Through being chosen by others instead of choosing yourself.
Even if no one ever said those words out loud, your body knows them by heart. That's why your jaw stays tight. Why your to-do list became your self-worth. Why saying "no" gives you shame instead of power.
You weren't just taught how to survive, you were taught how to perform your way into safety.
But here's what they didn't tell you: performing will never make you safe. It will only make you tired.
Why You're Not Broken, You're Just Done
This part is for the over-functioning woman who keeps asking herself:
"Why am I still exhausted even though I rested?" "Why do I feel like I'm grieving a life that looks fine?" "Why do I feel so alone even when I'm surrounded by people?"
Listen closely: You are not broken.
You are done. Done hiding your intuition behind politeness. Done being the one who understands everyone but feels misunderstood. Done shrinking your full expression to be digestible for people who benefit from your silence.
The numbness you feel? The anxiety that comes in waves? The fantasy of disappearing? That's not pathology, that's your spirit trying to break free from a prison that was painted to look like paradise.
What Happens When You Come Home to Yourself
You don't need more information. You don't need another book or course or coach telling you what you already know in your bones.
You need a space that's built for the version of you who already knows her truth, you just haven't had the structure, support, or sovereignty to trust it yet.
You need to discover your actual energetic rhythm, not the one you faked to survive. You know that feeling when you're forcing yourself to be productive but your body is screaming for rest? Or when you say yes to something and immediately feel drained? That's your real design trying to break through.
You need permission to unlearn. To rest. To remember who you were before you were trained to disappear.
The Invitation
If your chest is tight and your spirit is nodding as you read this, this message is for you.
If this feels like the truth you didn't know you needed to hear, you're exactly who I'm meant to serve.
The House of Tah™ isn't a course or a masterclass. It's a reckoning. A detox from lineage, religion, and survival logic. A six-week portal where you walk in with someone else's story and walk out writing your own.
It's application-only because this is sacred space. Where your real voice isn't too much, too loud, or too intense. Where your nervous system finally starts to believe you're safe.
Your performance is not your power. Your exhaustion is not your identity. Your wholeness has been waiting.
Are you ready to come home?
